a letter.

i would like to take this time to write a letter to an anonymous and ficitional(maybe) college and career center advisor who told me that, “ivy leagues were not in the ballpark for me.”

dear mrs. college and career center advisor,

today, i received news that i have been accepted to columbia university (the one in new york) and theyre gonna pay for a lot of my education. i know, this is big news to you. one of your students got into columbia. i can hear you typing up my name for the map in the h-building as we speak. well, i would like to start off by saying thanks. you told me sophomore year, that i could never get into an ivy league. that i should try to aim smaller. i told you i was a athlete. you said your son was too. no, you misunderstood. I am an athlete. your son…not so much. i just want to congratulate you on all the help you’ve given me. you gave me multiple pamphlets. you told me to take more challenging classes. i didnt. i threw out your pamphlets. i took my easy classes. i know, it was risky. but i realized something 10 minutes into first meeting you. right after you handed me a pamphlet for ohio state for the second time. you don’t know shit. im sorry if that was rude but i dont think you know anything.  i look at you, and all i do is question your intelligence. i didnt go to your question and answer sessions with representatives from local colleges because i knew that you only brought them in because you didnt know. i have a suggestion for you. instead of putting stickers from all those colleges on your door, just put xeroxed copies of advertisements for barron’s college guides. it will save everyone time. i hear we have statewide budget cuts. how about we get rid of you? in your place we can just buy a copy of a college guide! have you realized the only reason people go into the college and career center is to print stuff out off your computers! even if they did go in looking for help you wouldnt give it to them anyways. all i wanna say is thank you soooooooooo much for everything you did for me these past four years. it was all you who got me into columbia. not my own hard work on the track and trails. not all the hours i’ve spent training. it was all you. thanks.

sincerely yours,

me.